50 Chuck Norris Jokes

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by

Meme Lord
in

Chuck Norris jokes have become an internet phenomenon, showcasing the legendary status and seemingly invincible nature of the iconic actor and martial artist. These jokes playfully exaggerate Chuck Norris’s abilities, toughness, and indomitable spirit. Originating as internet memes, Chuck Norris jokes have spread far and wide, captivating fans with their humorous and often outrageous statements. Prepare to laugh and marvel at the mythical prowess of Chuck Norris as we delve into a collection of jokes that have made him a legend in pop culture. Brace yourself for a dose of humor and enjoy the world of Chuck Norris jokes!

  1. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  2. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
  3. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
  4. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  5. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
  7. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  8. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  9. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
  10. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  11. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
  12. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
  13. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
  15. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.
  17. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
  18. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.
  19. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
  20. Chuck Norris can speak French… in Russian.
  21. Chuck Norris can strum a guitar by plucking the strings with his beard.
  22. Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.
  23. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down.
  24. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a seatbelt; he holds the steering wheel and the car wraps around him.
  25. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest against the sun.
  26. Chuck Norris can make onions cry just by saying “boo.”
  27. Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite; frost gets Chuckbite.
  28. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he just tells the Earth where to rotate.
  29. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  30. Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop… from the other side of the universe.
  31. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air; he holds air hostage.
  32. Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
  33. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
  34. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
  35. Chuck Norris can beat you at Connect Four in three moves.
  36. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  37. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
  38. When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, the mirror shatters because it knows better than to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
  39. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups; he pushes the world down.
  40. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a ladder; he jumps off the ground and pushes the Earth down.
  41. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  42. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
  43. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a watch; he decides what time it is.
  44. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he tells the Earth where to rotate.
  45. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
  46. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a seatbelt; the car wears a Chuck Norris belt.
  47. Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite; frost gets Chuckbite.
  48. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  49. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air; he holds air hostage.
  50. Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

Also check out our page on Chuck Norris Memes!