I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Atlanta Zoo.
What did Kermit the frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Nothing