Category: Jokes

50 Best Dad Jokes

Laughter is contagious, and there’s something uniquely endearing about dad jokes. They’re often filled with clever wordplay, delightful puns, and an undeniable charm that brings smiles to faces, even if accompanied by a groan. Dad jokes have become a cherished tradition passed down from generation to generation, providing light-hearted moments of humor and bonding between fathers and their loved ones.

In this collection, we present 50 dad jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. From clever one-liners to playful twists on words, these jokes are meant to elicit laughter and remind us of the joy found in simple humor. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy a delightful selection of dad-approved humor that will leave you grinning, even if you can’t help but roll your eyes at the same time.

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50 Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris jokes have become an internet phenomenon, showcasing the legendary status and seemingly invincible nature of the iconic actor and martial artist. These jokes playfully exaggerate Chuck Norris’s abilities, toughness, and indomitable spirit. Originating as internet memes, Chuck Norris jokes have spread far and wide, captivating fans with their humorous and often outrageous statements. Prepare to laugh and marvel at the mythical prowess of Chuck Norris as we delve into a collection of jokes that have made him a legend in pop culture. Brace yourself for a dose of humor and enjoy the world of Chuck Norris jokes!

  1. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  2. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
  3. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
  4. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  5. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
  7. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  8. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  9. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
  10. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  11. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
  12. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
  13. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
  15. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.
  17. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
  18. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.
  19. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
  20. Chuck Norris can speak French… in Russian.
  21. Chuck Norris can strum a guitar by plucking the strings with his beard.
  22. Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.
  23. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down.
  24. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a seatbelt; he holds the steering wheel and the car wraps around him.
  25. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest against the sun.
  26. Chuck Norris can make onions cry just by saying “boo.”
  27. Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite; frost gets Chuckbite.
  28. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he just tells the Earth where to rotate.
  29. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  30. Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop… from the other side of the universe.
  31. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air; he holds air hostage.
  32. Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
  33. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
  34. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
  35. Chuck Norris can beat you at Connect Four in three moves.
  36. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  37. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
  38. When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, the mirror shatters because it knows better than to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
  39. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups; he pushes the world down.
  40. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a ladder; he jumps off the ground and pushes the Earth down.
  41. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  42. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
  43. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a watch; he decides what time it is.
  44. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he tells the Earth where to rotate.
  45. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
  46. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a seatbelt; the car wears a Chuck Norris belt.
  47. Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite; frost gets Chuckbite.
  48. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  49. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air; he holds air hostage.
  50. Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

Also check out our page on Chuck Norris Memes!

George Carlin Quotes & Memes

George Carlin is known to many as one of the best comedians of a century, with his humor and philosophy spanning many generations. His brilliant yet unique outlook still inspires people to this day. He is truly a legend, and many of Carlin’s jokes and quotes will live for decades/centuries past his legacy. Here are only a few of many of the great quotes of George Carlin

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Dad Jokes

Text Jokes | Images/Memes | Videos (TikTok)

Cheesy, cornball jokes that dads love to tell. These easy to catch, punny jokes are usually timeless and seem to make their way into all of pulp culture. Movies, television, memes, and even YouTube videos aren’t safe from dad humor.

Some Dad Joke Texts

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty.

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Yo Mama Jokes (History and Collection)

A quick and crazy history of yo mama jokes

Rather its yo mama, momma, or moma, some insults are just classic. And what better way to make fun of someone than to attack their mom. Its a low blow, but it always hit. But, it wasn’t just modern culture that talked about your momma. People have been dissing your mom since before Shakespeare. Some even believe your mama jokes can be found in ancient civilization. Idk bout all that.

Shakespeare, first Known Yo Momma Joke Written

The big explosion of yo momma jokes came in the 90’s In living Color. This was my, along with many, exposure to the culture of dissing mother figures.  In this skit a game show called “The Dirty Dozens” took turns dissing moms with Jeopardy type categories. The skit spoofed modern game shows by making fun of other contenders and their mother’s weight problem, lack of education, and sexual promiscuous behavior. Good stuff.

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Dark Jokes

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Atlanta Zoo.

What did Kermit the frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Nothing

One-Liner Jokes

From corny dad jokes to comic legends who use one-liners like Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright, they are always good for a quick punch. Rather witty or goofy, One-liner jokes are fun for everyone. Many may try not to laugh at them. All one-liners in our collection are one sentence jokes.

I’m Against picketing but I don’t know how to show it.
– Mitch Hedberg

I sprayed spot remover on my dog and he disappeared.
– Steven Wright

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