George Carlin Quotes & Memes

George Carlin is known to many as one of the best comedians of a century, with his humor and philosophy spanning many generations. His brilliant yet unique outlook still inspires people to this day. He is truly a legend, and many of Carlin’s jokes and quotes will live for decades/centuries past his legacy. Here are only a few of many of the great quotes of George Carlin

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Dad Jokes

Text Jokes | Images/Memes | Videos (TikTok)

Cheesy, cornball jokes that dads love to tell. These easy to catch, punny jokes are usually timeless and seem to make their way into all of pulp culture. Movies, television, memes, and even YouTube videos aren’t safe from dad humor.

Some Dad Joke Texts

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty.

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Yo Mama Jokes (History and Collection)

A quick and crazy history of yo mama jokes

Rather its yo mama, momma, or moma, some insults are just classic. And what better way to make fun of someone than to attack their mom. Its a low blow, but it always hit. But, it wasn’t just modern culture that talked about your momma. People have been dissing your mom since before Shakespeare. Some even believe your mama jokes can be found in ancient civilization. Idk bout all that.

Shakespeare, first Known Yo Momma Joke Written

The big explosion of yo momma jokes came in the 90’s In living Color. This was my, along with many, exposure to the culture of dissing mother figures.  In this skit a game show called “The Dirty Dozens” took turns dissing moms with Jeopardy type categories. The skit spoofed modern game shows by making fun of other contenders and their mother’s weight problem, lack of education, and sexual promiscuous behavior. Good stuff.

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Dark Jokes

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Atlanta Zoo.

What did Kermit the frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Nothing

One-Liner Jokes

From corny dad jokes to comic legends who use one-liners like Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright, they are always good for a quick punch. Rather witty or goofy, One-liner jokes are fun for everyone. Many may try not to laugh at them. All one-liners in our collection are one sentence jokes.

I’m Against picketing but I don’t know how to show it.
– Mitch Hedberg

I sprayed spot remover on my dog and he disappeared.
– Steven Wright

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